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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "4gatchaman" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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12:43 am
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世界停下来.薛淑燕
单人房/世界停下来
想教世界停下来
自己却走得那么快
以为一直都会和梦想牵着手
不知不觉已让现实牵着走
或许真的是我走太快
才觉得世界停不下来
Room for One/To Stop This Spinning World (for a Day)
Model: Lara
Special Thanks: ZiJing
Have a good trip to Japan, Lara!
& the english title sucks big time compare to the chinese one ... but i am out of wits already.
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12:47 am
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白色窗口(番外篇).薛淑燕
单人房/白色窗口(番外篇)
太幸福的人反而不懂快乐
在天空蓝的房间里 容我将心门暂闭
外面的世界不尽人意
我却依然在这里 安静地
给世界留一个白色的窗口
不懂快乐的人 握不住手中的幸福
在天空蓝的房间里 现实变得好模糊
在我能够重投世界的怀抱以前
请记得我依然在这里 安静地
给你留一个白色的窗口
Room for One/The White Window (Variations)
Model: Lara
Special Thanks: ZiJing
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04:37 pm
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白色窗口.薛淑燕
单人房/白色窗口
太幸福的人反而不懂快乐
在天空蓝的房间里 容我将心门暂闭
外面的世界不尽人意
我却依然在这里 安静地
给世界留一个白色的窗口
Room for One/The White Window
Model: Lara
Special Thanks: ZiJing
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11:20 pm
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弃权.淑婷
单人房/弃权
成全对方就是成全自己
我们都自私地想做牺牲者
别为我唱如此深蓝的摇篮曲
我是绝对可以这样假装睡去
在你放弃以前先放弃
Room for One/To Forfeit a Broken Heart
Model: Dawn Lim
Special Thanks: ZiJing and ChinChee
*i decided to leave the messy hair in, even it s a pain to mask. just feel that something would be lost in this one if i tidy up the hair in PS. Yay! i can move on to 单人房 III, with less guilt ... coz i intended to have one more at least for Dawn 's series. being emotive portraits, 单人房 is getting more and more heavy and unhappy ... hopefully my 3rd installation can go back to the gentle and emotional feel of the first one.
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10:19 pm
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Star Wars Clone Wars: Jedi Alliance
2 publicity videos for the DS game, Star Wars Clone Wars: Jedi Alliance, that i ve been working on for the past year plus. part 1 and part 2 on Gamespot. to my surprise, they reused footage of me which was shot more than a year ago in the 1st video.
i still don't believe one man can manipulate another person 's path without repurcussion. i m glad i m not totally in the blind, even though i may not be able to do anything immediately now. at least i know who did what and why things may turn out certain ways.
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12:52 am
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穿雨衣的女孩
it has been quite a while since i re-read this essay i wrote 9 years ago. i think i can no longer something like this anymore. i guess i am not that guy anymore and can't feel this way anymore. it is such a strange feeling as if i am reading the writing of another stranger.
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02:06 pm
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Faces of Sapa Series: Two Teeth & a Smile
compared to the other portraits of Sapa kids in the mountains, i got this one easy. no torturous trekking, no need to chase behind subjects, no photo money, no sneaky shots. we walked past her sitting outside one of the many automobile machinery shops on a street in Hanoi. although i cannot remember if she actually volunteered to be photographed, she is certainly one willing subject with a cheerful and easy-going personality. she has got a seasoned face which many portraitists would kill to shoot but i am not too crazy over photos which revealed every wrinkle and every pore in perfect sharpness and high contrast. instead, what intrigued me most is her two-teeth smile in this shot. this is a smile on a face which has aged gracefully. it sure has been quite a while since i last seen such content & easiness on an elderly face.
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12:12 am
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Faces of Sapa Series: The Beauty & Sorrow of Sapa Town
it was a cooling & peaceful evening in Sapa town when i chanced upon this girl with a lovely face full of sadness. ever since i start shooting portraits, i have a strange weakness for faces which are capable of beauty and sorrow at the same time. and the moment i saw her, i knew i couldn't let go. leaving ZJ behind, i went after her. after a whole day of walking, i had a hard time catching up with her, much to my disbelief. what 's more, she seemed to be aware of me trailing her and i felt like a stalker. & all this while, there was never a good photographic moment, until she led me up a long torturous flight of stairs. then she turned & looked at me.
Click! i took it, panting.
but to my dismay, i had cropped her feet off by a little, little but enough to kill the shot. when i looked up again, she had already turned away, leaving me in grievance over my wasted chance. it would not be those award-winning shots, but would be a much better one if i got her full body in frame. i thought of throwing this shot away but i love her expression too much. so i cropped it further up her legs as an imperfect way to salvage it.
why should i be so unforgiving to myself anyway? by now, i should have long let it go already.
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10:11 pm
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LARA 薛淑燕
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09:09 am
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LARA 薛淑燕
My pre shoot with Lara, a 17-year-old gal with various unusual fine qualities, as well as the fragilities of an average teen. this is my first time going into a one-on-one shoot without prior shoots with a model. i guess we are both at a stage of trying to warm up to each other in terms of shooting. as a friend, i am surprised that we get along so well and i had still had many common topics while engaging in a conversation with a junior. ( my heart is young haha! ) i am looking forward to creative sparks to fly between us in our future collaborations.
and so,
Harlow, Lara!
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12:14 am
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Faces of Sapa Series: The Botak Boy of Hanoi I & II
we roamed the streets of Hanoi on our first day in Vietnam because the night train to Sapa is 8 pm. this botak (bald in Malay) boy was playing football with another young guy on the streets. because it is my first day there, i was unsure how friendly the locals are with the camera. so i decided to play it safe and steal some shots of them playing. but the kid is way too alert and smart for me. (my big camera is not that convert too!) he walked up to me instead, as if challenging me to take his photo. this is the first of the 3 only shots i managed to get. the tatoo done with ballpoint pen is totally amusing. he is just like a little Yakuza in the streets of Hanoi.
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08:54 pm
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Hanabi + Ink Bar
Cyclops!!!
credits to wendy and her Panasonic Lumix LX3! the strobe flash effect is so cool!
after thousand suffering and million bitterness 千辛万苦, i finally managed to jio wendy and mengxin out ... and got bonus somemore ... rebecca jioned us later for drinks. so happy to meet u girls after so long.
Hanabi is kinda sad ... i have a good impression of it from my first visit. this time round the food is still good but it s very obvious they serve much smaller portions intentionally. i didnt take any photos of the food, think wendy did.
( more big big photos here )
photo credits to wendy, except the last 5 photos is mine.
mx, hope problems at wrk can be resolved soon for you, thanks for coming and staying on, despite being so tired.
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10:49 pm
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单人房.淑婷
单人房/单人房
我以为去很远的地方 就可以离开
单人房的那一天
我们什么都没有留下 也什么都带不走
还有什么会放不开
Room for One/Room for One
Model: Dawn Lim
Special Thanks: ZiJing and ChinChee
P.S. Thank you Dawn Dawn for waiting for so long for my slow DI ... and doing such a good job despite feeling unwell ... finally i have found the title shot for the entire Room for One series ... i have written the chinese text so long ago and can use it now.
& HARLOW LARA!!! u stress me out already coz i ve no solid idea yet ... you impressed the hell of me coz u can actually understand all the cheena stuffs i wrote here and u like the Little Prince too!
In this beautiful & realistic world, i wish i am special, beautiful body beautiful soul, the one out of a million ... but what am i doing here ... i just one amongst the millions ...
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11:11 pm
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康美
one more for the night.
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12:02 am
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伟义 + 康美
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09:13 pm
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Faces of Sapa Series: The Boys in Bac Ha Market
Kids in Sapa love cameras. for some, it is for the sake of 'photo money'; for others, it is simply out of good-natured fun. & this two boys definitely belong to the latter. for any passionate portrait/street photographers, they are the best of subjects. direct, sincere and immediate connection with your subjects, what more can a portraitist ask for.
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11:52 pm
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Faces of Sapa Series: The Brothers of Ta Van
it has been a while since i last updated this series. my memories of Sapa is slowly fading away. the peaceful feeling of the trip has long gone and i can only stare at the calm expressions on their beautiful faces without being able to connect anymore. for too long, i have been back in the concrete jungle, amongst carnivores, only capable of staring blankly into those vast empty spaces of mountains and padi fields, which is supposed to instill transquility in the hearts of those who dwell within. but not now. not to me anymore.
i know i don't belong there. but neither do i feel i belong here.
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05:30 pm
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The Couple Shot
P.S. so sorry Dawn i have not forgotten about Room For One Series. i ll work on it.
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01:37 pm
[Link] | 连朋友也置疑我, 如果没什么, 为什么要在乎, 为什不可以放下? 可以什么都没做 但是心里却越界了.
心理上的问题岂是简单, 我不是圣人, 有七情六欲, 但是在这事情上, 良知自问清澈透明.
我在想, 难道这也是你一直以来的想法, 所以你只是以怜悯或感激的心态做朋友, 而我对你好的话, 反而让你更有所置疑.
或许当初你情绪低落, 我就不应该因为失去过同样的人, 而感同身受, 以为在这个时候给你精神支柱, 就可以解开我当时必须独自承受的心结. but maybe it is really a selfish and vain attempt to think that i can help myself by helping someone else. 认为我能帮得到什么, 我也或许太高估了自己.
事到如今, 记仇的心已吞噬了我的理智太久了, 再清澈透明的心, 也满是盲点. 在我们的人生里本来就谁也不须要谁, 何必把自己推入仇恨的炼狱. 喜欢我, 赏识我, 愿意和我相处的人还有, 不是我的那杯茶喝多少也解不了渴, 陪伴在旁也能让你份外孤独. 如果我因不甘而再伤人, 那我说的这些又算什么.
就在你划的这条界线上, 我们各走各路.
是一条无尽的平行线, 或终会有交叉点, 一切随缘.
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01:29 am
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慧根
我试过特地陪人坐长程地铁,到了站之后,本来迟到的车来载他,他丢下我就走,我心想来载的人都是互相认识的朋友,怎么不能一起呢?我竟然还能装做不要紧,心下却这才想到,我其实被当做呼之则来,挥之则去的人.我现在才发觉我那时笨得多丢人!
对人好之前, 千万要看清楚他的为人,可惜我却没能从这件事上早点看明白这个人, 我待人处事确实欠缺慧根啊!
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